The Grass Is Always Greener .. On Another person’s Head
Why is it that girls are ceaselessly coloring their hair — curling, ironing, extending, feathering, crimping, pulling, twisting and bending it I’ve a expensive pal who, for the 26 years I’ve recognized her, has been trying to undo the curls she naturally has, whereas hot hair pieces I have at all times coveted her spectacular head of curls! For years, when she’d fall within the pool and are available out horrified that her hair was quickly winding up into tight coils, I wished it were mine. Now that she will have it chemically straightened, she swims with out fear and we snigger about this previous drama. I like her straight hair, because finally I like her. Still, it all the time struck me that she and i might see her hair so otherwise, when we agree on so many different things.
I’ve only coloured my hair once. I had high quality strawberry-blonde highlights placed on the ideas of my hair, to finally see what it was prefer to be in the “tribe.” I all the time saw coloring your hair as a right of passage for ladies, and simply once I wished to share the ritual. That was 10 years ago; I was 42. At this stage, I am pretty certain that most of the women I do know color their hair — to cowl the gray, to attempt on new appears, to maintain a picture they’ve always had, but for years and years, I at all times assumed that the hair colour I noticed was the colour that naturally grew there. Nicely into my 40s, I naively believed this, and buddies would laugh at me when I would finally discover “roots” or work out that their blonde was not nature-made. Now, I assume all hair is altered, until the proof stating in any other case is obvious.
My high school graduation picture, 1981
I grew up with bright pink hair — each a blessing and a curse in my youth. My gym teacher known hot hair pieces as me “Carrot high,” while others usually referred to as me “Pink”; I hated each. I wished to have blonde hair like all the “standard ladies,” or wonderful brown curls, like my greatest buddy — anything however my very own carrot prime. All by means of college, when it was long and that i suppose more striking, total strangers would come up and touch my hair. It drove my husband nuts after we have been courting; although I had come to assume that touching folks’s hair was normal — much like how strangers suppose they can contact a pregnant girl’s stomach. When i went on The Phil Donahue Show in my late twenties, the show aired with Phil, along with his hanging white mop of hair, stroking my purple hair as I asked a query. Buddies teased me for years about it, though Mr. Donahue’s response didn’t strike me as strange on the time.
I’m in my 50’s now, I made peace with my hair a long time in the past. I am completely happy to be a redhead — even because it fades to a darker auburn, with increasingly seen white and silver stragglers. For now, I will go on report and say I do not plan to ever shade it again.
My colour; my curls- Wash and go!
I have not owned a comb or brush for 18 years; I take advantage of my fingers and spritz it with water when it wants fixing. I only get my hair lower into types that require sleep, washing and little else. I admit that I am lazy. For probably the most part, I’ve let go of that one vanity. For that, I really feel very fortunate and grateful; I know that a lot of ladies invest hundreds more effort. My good pal C, who used to cut it for me, has advised me again and again: “Sure, you possibly can have that model, if you’re willing to spend a few minutes with a flat iron, or if you’re keen to make use of some extra product, or blow it out..” Nonetheless, understanding me well, she too surrendered, and that i went with small variations on the identical, brief cut for years. Admittedly, as it is grown out, I’ve railed towards it a bit extra. With more hair to wrangle, it’s not as straightforward to simply let it go. Some days I nonetheless want it was curlier, longer, thicker.. like that girl’s or that one, or the one over there, however for the most half, I’ve surrendered this single battle.
After i advised my daughter what I used to be writing, she shared that she once wore a hijab for a number of days in support of Muslim friends at college. She said she found it very eye-opening, though her professors gave her odd appears to be like. Wearing the hijab, she realized just how much power, physically and spiritually, she puts in to her hair each day. “The main target,” she said, “was abruptly solely on my character — simply me — not as much on my appears to be like. It was so freeing!” I perceive her level, as that is how I feel with my low-upkeep hairstyle.
Graduation day. My lady wore her hair unfastened and free; I flat-ironed mine.
My daughter has gorgeous wavy hair, which has been altering from the blonde of her childhood to the darker shade it’s going to probably be as an grownup. She asks me: “Mom, is my hair getting darker ” with a apprehensive expression. “Sure; it’s gorgeous,” I reply. I take a look at her through a mom’s eyes, but I perceive that she is questioning if her hair may not be nicer wavier, or straighter, thicker or blonder again. As her mother, I wince, realizing that she is struggling with the identical issues of shallowness that so many women face. While every of us admires someone else’s locks, we won’t settle for that somebody is probably going wishing for yours, or yours.. or mine. It isn’t acceptable to say I want I had your husband, your home, your career, your life.. but so many ladies say: “I might kill in your hair.”
In truth, it’s actually uncommon to hear a lady say I really like my hair. As a substitute, girls spend billions annually to change the hair they have; we work tirelessly to tame our tresses and attain a certain look. Black girls do it; white women do it. Asian women do it; Latina girls do it; Orthodox women do it and secular women do it. Girls with cash do it, women who do not have money do it. Regardless of our race, culture, religion and infrequently socioeconomics, most of us appear to be chasing the grass on another person’s head.
For now, I still covet my neighbor’s stuff: I’d love her determine and her wardrobe; hell, her husband is pretty cute. However, when it comes to my hair, I think I will exit on a limb here: I am pleased with my hair. On “unhealthy hair days” I may often dream of longer, curlier, different hair, however for the foreseeable future, I am sticking with the grass that grows by myself head.
(And on a nasty day, I will put on a hat!)
What say you Are you happy with what you’ve got, or are you forever seeking to alter what grows on prime
This story was initially posted on Daybreak Quyle Landau’s bog, Tales From the Motherland. Test it out, to read more of my work. Observe me on Facebook and Twitter. You may as well hit the thumbs up icon at the highest and to the appropriate of post, to immediately obtain future posts.
Earlier on Huff/Post50:
SILVER: A Way of thinking
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Dawn Q Landau
Mom, Author, Traveler, Treasure Hunter and Sushi lover. Daybreak was named a BlogHer “Voices of the Year” for 2015, A HuffPo 50’s “Must-Read Blogger for 2015,” and she writes commonly on her weblog: Tales From the Motherland.